I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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