oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
