the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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