New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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