Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
