We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
