You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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