the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize