Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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