I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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