Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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