He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
