He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
