My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
