dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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