the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's blow job season.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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