come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
