In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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