You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
