after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
