I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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