True but thats because hes a fetus.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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