she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
