I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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