He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
