there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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