just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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