But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
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If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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