woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize