Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you traded sex for a burrito?
worst night to have a conscience
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
