Buhtt sex?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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