I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
