Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
