PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
