PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
