On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
