just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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