Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
