Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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