why didn't you poke me back
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
