Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
