i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
