her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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