Having a random hookup so left but love u
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
