if you like me you must not know who I am
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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