I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
