My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize