I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
