So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
