So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
