just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
