i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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