so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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