Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize