I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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