"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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