The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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