Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
